“No I’m not color blind; I know the world is black and white.”

Today began wonderfully and continued to be mostly wonderful until about 8 pm. The morning was filled with a lovely and extremely necessary surf session at Scripps with good friends, and then breakfast by the ocean afterwards. I bought a maroon sweater I like very much with mini skulls glued onto it… I had to have it. Then I worked with friends at Quiksilver until 7:30ish.

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After work I skyped with my parents and those are always the most honest of talks. I’m real with myself and they are real with me and it doesn’t always result in me feeling immediately better. I also hadn’t realized how hard on myself I was being until my dad reminded me not to be hard on myself. I saw little things, stupid things, that upset me. I compared my life to others close to me, and pick out why theirs are better. I started feeling like things were never going to change and I was stuck.

But I’ve decided to have more faith in myself, and the universe. I know things are as they should be, and everything happens for a reason, so now is the most important time to believe and understand. I know deep down if I set my mind to making something happen, I will make that something happen. Time will pass as it will, but I need to not let it be a discouraging factor nor take it personally. And most of all, I need to not look at others with envy. Each and every one of us has our personal struggles, and on top of that my life is wonderful. Sure my apartment is tiny, and I don’t have the job I want to have, but what is the road without a few bumps in it?

I guess what I’m saying is the struggle is part of the story, and the bumps are part of the journey. I have confidence things will be looking up very soon. I’m trying to keep an open mind and heart towards the world. I am hoping a good nights sleep will refresh my worried mind and when I wake up I’ll have much more clarity. Sometimes sleep is all I really need :)

I never want to lose my adventurous and every day fun-loving spirit; I want to keep it in my heart and with me every day for the rest of my life. I got to surf this morning and I am so happy about it, and it reminded me of this. I will be giving myself a little bit more free time soon for things like friends, surf and yoga. I am grateful for the time I had this morning, and if I know anything at all, I know I am going to be doing much more of them.

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This entry was published on January 14, 2013 at 10:56 am and is filed under Surf and Life. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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